


Difficulties

by narsus



Category: Cabin Pressure, Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Crossover, Dialogue-Only, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-11
Updated: 2012-02-11
Packaged: 2017-10-30 22:57:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/337119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/narsus/pseuds/narsus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Expanded version of <a href="http://cabinpres-fic.livejournal.com/728.html?thread=1196760#t1196760">this</a> prompt fill which asked for Douglas as the third Holmes brother.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Difficulties

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Sherlock belongs to the BBC, Mark Gatiss & Steven Moffat, and obviously in the genesis of it all, to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Cabin Pressure belongs to John Finnemore and BBC Radio 4.

“No.”  
“What do you mean ‘no’?”  
“No, as in the negative, Sherlock. You can organise this yourself. I simply don’t have the time.”  
“Mycroft.”  
“My dearest brother, I do have _other_ things to attend to other than your well-being.”  
“Somehow I doubt it.”  
“Of course I do. As a mere, minor functionary, I have to attend to the new batch of Fast Stream applications after all.”  
“Why?”  
“Because, brother mine, if I don’t, Britain will lose some very... critical talent in the next few years.”  
“Humph.”  
“And if I can’t make them apply... well, I’ll put your name forward instead.”  
“You wouldn’t dare!”  
“Darling brother, I’ve had your competency tests on file for _years_.”

“What did you do to piss him off?”  
“Nothing.”  
“Of course you did. Mycroft doesn’t normally refuse you anything.”  
“He’s... busy.”  
“Busy.”  
“Yes, busy. Mycroft does have a job, you know.”  
“Yes, and normally that job isn’t so important that he-“  
“We’re leaving the country tonight!”  
“And how are we going to manage that, pray tell?”  
“My brother.”  
“Mycroft?”  
“Nope. Other one. Works for a small charter airline. _Very_ exclusive. Very discreet.”  
“You- your _other_ brother?”  
“That’s what I just said.”  
“But I thought- forget it. Let me just go pack.”

“Why are we going to... where is it again?”  
“Toronto.”  
“Okay...”  
“I need to see a man about a document.”  
“Only you’d come up with-“  
“He’s a technical writer.”  
“Oh. What kind of case-“  
“Quiet, I’m thinking.”  
“Of course you are.”  
“Fine. Talk if you must.”  
“But not about the case?”  
“Precisely.”  
“How about... this other brother of yours. How does that work then?”  
“What? Douglas?”  
“You have a brother called ‘Douglas’?”  
“Yes.”  
“Alright, go on.”  
“Mummy’s first husband was an RAF man. _Not_ the sort of thing that the family approved of. Not like daddy or Mycroft’s father for that matter.”  
“Mycroft’s... Wait, he’s your half brother?”  
“Of course. Mycroft’s father was... what’s the full name? Special Air Service.”  
“Jesus!”  
“Daddy was a far more sensible choice.”  
“Go on, I’ll bite. Why?”  
“Security Service. You know, one of those double-0s.”  
“So... you mother’s just marrying her way through the security services?”  
“Possibly.”  
“Don’t look at me like that! I was just-”  
“She probably _is_ due a new husband by now.”

“Wait a minute. You and Mycroft both have the same surname.”  
“Yes?”  
“And your elder brother doesn’t...”  
“Oh, that? That’s an inheritance issue. Or something along those lines. All _very_ boring.”  
“An... inheritance issue. Right.”  
“Or something to do with taxes. I can never remember. Mycroft’s investments are in Lichtenstein, Douglas’ are in Jersey. There’s something dull about all of that.”  
“Sherlock, those are both tax havens.”  
“That’s it.”  
“Tell me that you at least know what a tax haven is...”

“Sherlock! How lovely to see you again. How goes the... ah, detective business?”  
“Fine. Better than fine in fact. How’s that getting your leg over your Captain coming along?”  
“Polite as ever, I see. And this would be...?”  
“My friend, John Watson.”  
“ _Friend_ , is it?”  
“Flatmate actually. In opposed to... oh, commanding officer.”  
“You know, there are days when I miss your candidness. Today is not one of them.”

“So, John, Sherlock tells me that you’re also his, ah, _blogger_?”  
“Sherlock’s told you nothing of the sort!”  
“I said ‘blogger’. I wasn’t aware that that had connotations north of the river.”  
“Well. Yes, alright, go on.”  
“Yes, it does have connotations or-“  
“Shut up!”  
“As you can see, and must know well yourself, my darling little brother always has such a way with words.”  
“Your ‘darling little brother’ hasn’t spoken to you since-“  
“It must have been.... Christmas. Yes, I think it was. Such a long time ago and you used to talk in the first person singular then too. Sherlock has always been a little-“  
“Sherlock has been- I mean, _I_ \- oh, bugger off, you’re as bad as Mycroft. Can’t you go... fuck your Captain or something!”  
“That’s not quite part of standard pre-flight procedure but I can certainly see if he’d be amenable to adding it in.”

“Insufferable. The both of them. How dare-“  
“Douglas! Where’s my- Oh, God, I’m so sorry. I didn’t see you there. Is... is anything broken?”  
“Martin, this is Sherlock, my brother. Sherlock, this is Captain Martin Crieff. So good of you both to facilitate an introduction via bodily collision. Such an effective ice-breaker these days.”

“Don’t- There, see, it’s started again. Just tilt your head back and it’ll clear up soon enough.”  
“This is all Douglas’ fault.”  
“It usually is.”  
“You should meet Mycroft. It’s always his fault too.”  
“I’m not sure I could cope with another Douglas, or at least a Douglas-type.”  
“But you’re fond of him.”  
“How did you- I suppose it’s obvious? I can’t even-“  
“I’m a detective, it’s my job to know.”  
“Oh! So I suppose that’s why you’d- Oh!”  
“Yes, that also means that I know that you’re in love with him and that he’s making diabolical plans to marry you as we speak.”  
“He- _marry_?”  
“Diabolical plans.”  
“Douglas wants to marry me? Really?”  
“He has some rather perverse designs on your body too.”  
“He’d really...?”  
“Involving restraints and collars.”

“I mean, it’s _different_ and I haven’t actually...”  
“Nonsense, it’s like falling off a bike. You’re doing just fine.”  
“Won’t you get into trouble if someone finds out?”  
“Who’s going to tell?”  
“Oh God, I’ve just said-“  
“You’ve said nothing that can be construed as confirmation of anything. This is a perfectly standard transatlantic flight with two pilots as per regulation.”  
“You know who you remind me of?”  
“If you say Mycroft...”  
“Well, just a little.”  
“Is it the aggressively masculine stature, steely gaze or-“  
“Your smile.”  
“My... John, I do believe that you’re blushing.”


End file.
